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The Autopsy & Farewell

Tracy Ikola, RN-MSN CNL / Pinned post
A Nurse’s Reckoning With Burnout

Time of Death: Indeterminate

How do you know when something is truly dead? Or a better question, how do you define death? Is it when the heart stops? When breathing ceases? Or does death settle in long before—when passion is drained, when love is too worn out to fight, when a piece of your soul has already slipped away?

If you were to cut open my nursing career and lay it bare, what would you find? Would you see the excited, beating heart of a starry-eyed young nurse who once believed she could save the world? Would you trace the scars left by neglect, exhaustion, grief and the quiet erosion of sel

Words Matter: Rethinking How We Talk About Illness and Disability

Tracy Ikola, RN-MSN, CNL / June 9, 2025
The Impact We Don’t See

When someone receives a diagnosis, hears the words cancer or disability for the first time, the world doesn’t just change because of what’s happening inside their body. It changes because of how others talk about them.

It changes because of words.

We don’t often think about it, but words shape what people feel, believe, and carry with them long after the conversation ends.

Yet in media, marketing, and even casual conversations, we still see words like:

  • Devastating
  • Tragic
  • Victim
  • Sufferer
  • Battle

They’re meant to show empathy. To express seriousness or support. But too often, these words end up

When the Words Don’t Come: Writing Through Silence, Struggle, and Self-Doubt

May 30, 2025

Let the Silence Say Something
For every writer who’s ever wondered if the words would return.

“Silence is not the absence of creativity. It’s the inhale before the words find their breath.”

Some days, the writing flows with ease—clean, certain, almost euphoric. Other days, it disappears.

Not because you stop caring. Not because you run out of ideas. But because

Empathy Over Algorithms: The Power of Emotional Intelligence in Health Writing

Tracy Ikola, RN-MSN, CNL / May 23, 2025

Emotional Intelligence Isn’t Optional. It Is Everything.

In life. In healthcare. And especially in writing.

Emotional intelligence, or EI, is the ability to recognize and respond to human emotion with awareness, empathy, and care. It is not just about understanding how someone feels. It is about allowing that understanding to influence how we speak, how we listen, and how we communicate on the page.

It is the difference between content that informs and content that supports.

Between a message that is read and one that is felt.

Between words that check a box and words that help someone feel less alone.

Emotional intelligence turns information into impact. It adds breath and warmth to language. And in healthcare, where people ar

The Relevance Illusion: Why You Don’t Have to Matter to Matter

Tracy Ikola, RN-MSN, CNL / May 19, 2025

I love a movie line that can rattle something loose in me. That’s the beautiful thing about truth. It sneaks up quietly.

In a recent movie I watched (which, overall, was terrible), a director asks his wife if he’s still relevant to her. There’s no hesitation in her response. No drama. Just softness. Stillness.

“We are all irrelevant,” she says.

It wasn’t cruel. It was clarity.

And it stayed with me.

The line echoed long after the scene ended. Not just because of the words, but because of how deeply they unstitched something I’ve bee

Who Are You?

Tracy Ikola, RN-MSN, CNL / May 13, 2025

Beyond the Chains of Expectation

When everything else is stripped away—your job, your status, your achievements— who remains? When there are no titles to hide behind, no accomplishments to point to, when you’re not performing for the world, who are you?

Most of us struggle to answer this, because we’ve been trained to define ourselves by what we do, by how we contribute, by what others expect of us.

We’ve been conditioned from the moment we could speak to answer the question of who we are with a role: I’m a nurse. I’m a teacher. I’m a mother. I’m a husband. These are the labels we wear, easy answers that make us legible to others, that give us a place in society.

But they don’t tell the full s

The Secret Lives of ER Nurses: What We Can’t Say Out Loud

Tracy Ikola, RN-MSN, CNL / May 12, 2025

Working in the emergency room is a constant battle between chaos and control, compassion and detachment, life and death. It’s a world most people will never fully understand. You simply cannot unless you’ve lived it.

Nurses carry secrets—the kind we don’t talk about “outside” or to our families at the dinner table. Because we’re not supposed to. Because if we did, no one would believe us. Or worse, they believe us, and they don’t know what to do with that truth. They might shift uncomfortably, offer an awkward “I don’t know how you do it”, and then move on, grateful it’s our burden to carry, not theirs.

So we swallow it down. Squash it. Compartmentalization at its finest. We push the worst moments into some locked box, telling our

Thriving in the Storm

Tracy Ikola, RN-MSN, CNL / May 11, 2025

The Comfort of Chaos

What was it about chaos that brought me into focus rather than breaking me? I never meant to fall in love with it. I didn’t wake up one day and decide I needed the adrenaline rush of running full speed into someone else’s worst moment. But somehow, the ER became my home, the place where I felt most alive. I was addicted. 

Most people crave stability. Calm mornings, predictable routines, the comfort of knowing what comes next. For me, chaos wasn’t just something I navigated. I controlled it. It was where I became the most “me”. In the frenzy of the ER, in the urgency of split-second decisions, in the middle of someone’s worst day, I didn’t just survive. I thrived. The madness wasn’t overw

A Lesson I Didn’t See Coming

Tracy Ikola, RN-MSN, CNL / May 7, 2025

I Had Earned This

I was promoted to my first independent management role at a busy, privately-owned wellness spa. I built strong working relationships, earned the trust of my team, and established myself as a capable, steady leader. My boss trusted me to handle things on my own, and I was proud of how I showed up every day. 

Then, one conversation cracked it open. 

The Accusation

I was covering the front desk for the evening and checking a client out.  We were engaged in a friendly conversation with a team member standing nearby.  Suddenly, my employee burst into the conversation, visibly upset.  Angry.  “How dare you speak to me that way?” I was stun

One Bite, Two Diagnoses: My Experience With Lyme Disease and Babesiosis

Tracy Ikola RN-MSN, CNL / May 5, 2025

Late spring through summer is peak tick season in the U.S. From May to August, blacklegged ticks (also known as deer ticks) are highly active and so are people. It’s the perfect time of year for renewal and adventure through hiking, camping, gardening, and enjoying nature. 

It’s also the time of year when tick-borne illnesses like Lyme disease and babesiosis are at their highest.

What many people don’t realize is that a single tick bite can transmit more than one infection.

I learned that firsthand in May 2024, when a tiny red mark on my arm became a full medical j

This Is The Part Where You Don’t Quit

Tracy Ikola, RN-MSN, CNL / May 3, 2025

When Starting Over Feels Like Sinking

We like to romanticize change. We call it brave. Bold. A fresh start.

But the truth? Starting over often feels like drowning.

You leave behind what you know—maybe because you’re burned out, maybe because it doesn’t fit anymore—and suddenly you’re swimming in uncertainty. You’re navigating change without a map. The familiar shoreline vanishes. You’re treading water, unsure whether you’re making progress or just flailing in place.

And then the doubt creeps in: “This isn’t working. I can’t do this.”

It’s one thing to take a leap. It’s another to survive the free fall that follows.

The Power of a

Gratitude Won’t Fix Everything — But It Can Keep You Moving Forward

Tracy Ikola, RN-MSN, CNL / April 30, 2025

“Gratitude isn’t about pretending everything is perfect. It’s about finding the strength to keep going, even when it’s not.”

When Gratitude Feels Like an Empty Word

It’s easy to feel disconnected from gratitude when you’re struggling.

Worse, sometimes the world weaponizes gratitude — telling you to “just be thankful” even when you’re hurting.

This kind of forced positivity can leave people feeling unseen, shamed, or even more isolated.

Gratitude isn’t meant to erase real pain. It’s meant to coexist with it — and gently help you move through it.

The Problem with “Toxic Positivity”

Gratitude can be powerful.

But when it’s used to d

Spontaneity Is Oxygen: Why Efficiency Is Killing Us

Tracy Ikola, RN-MSN, CNL / April 29, 2025

“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” ~ Albert Camus

We trade wonder for calendars. We optimize spontaneity out of existence — and we call it success.

Somewhere between efficiency apps and color-coded schedules, we forgot that not everything beautiful can be planned.

And now, a lot of us are starving for adventure and don’t even realize it.

We scroll through feeds that show us exactly what we already like. We listen to playlists engineered to predict our moods. We eat at restaurants chosen by ratings instead of gut feelings. 

When was the last time you wandered without a destination?

When was the last time you let

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