Words Matter: Rethinking How We Talk About Illness and Disability

The Impact We Don’t See

When someone receives a diagnosis, hears the words cancer or disability for the first time, the world doesn’t just change because of what’s happening inside their body. It changes because of how others talk about them.

It changes because of words.

We don’t often think about it, but words shape what people feel, believe, and carry with them long after the conversation ends.

Yet in media, marketing, and even casual conversations, we still see words like:

Devastating
Tragic
Victim
Sufferer
Battle

They’re meant to show empathy. To express seriousness or support. But too often, these words end up reducing a person’s entire story to a single narrative: hardship.

For the people living these experiences every day, language isn’t just a detail. It’s the frame through which they’re seen and understood.

Why Word Choice Matters

Language doesn’t just describe reality. It shapes it.

When we call someone a “victim,” we suggest they’re powerless. When we say they “suffer from” a condition, we center pain instead of resilience. When we describe a diagnosis as “devastating,” we strip away the complexity of life that still exists beyond it — the love, the humor, the good days and bad days woven together.

For someone living with cancer, disability, or chronic illness, these words can feel heavy, like being handed a script they never asked for.

The truth is, most people don’t want to be pitied. They want to be seen. Fully. Accurately. As more than what they endure.

Beyond Feelings

This isn’t just about feelings. It’s about opportunity and dignity.

Language influences the way the world responds. Studies show that words affect healthcare outcomes, employment opportunities, social inclusion — even policy decisions.

Think about it:

A candidate described as a “cancer victim” may be viewed as fragile instead of capable.
A person “confined to a wheelchair” is seen as limited, when mobility aids are actually about freedom and access.

The way we talk about illness and disability can either open doors or quietly close them.

Better Alternatives: Respectful, Empowering Language

Choosing better words isn’t about being careful for careful’s sake. It’s about recognizing people as the experts of their own lives and honoring that in the way we speak.

Here are a few simple swaps that make a big difference:

Instead of… Try…

Victim of cancer ➔ Person living with cancer

Wheelchair-bound ➔ Uses a wheelchair

Suffering from depression ➔ Living with depression

Devastating diagnosis ➔ Life-altering diagnosis

Handicapped ➔ Person with a disability

Battling cancer ➔ Navigating cancer

One quick rule of thumb? Use person-first language (person with a disability, person living with cancer). But remember, not everyone prefers this. Communities like the deaf and autistic communities often prefer identity-first language (Deaf person, autistic person).

The best guide? Ask. Listen. Follow their lead.

Let’s Talk About the “Battle” Metaphor

You’ve heard it: “fighting cancer”, “battling a disease.”

Some people find strength in these metaphors.

But for others, it feels unfair. It implies that survival is about willpower, that “losing” means not trying hard enough. It quietly suggests that if someone dies from illness, they failed.

Illness isn’t a battle. It’s a human experience — often unpredictable, often out of our hands.

The words we choose can give people permission to experience illness without having to wage a war.

For Writers, Healthcare Professionals, and Storytellers

Center dignity: Focus on the whole person, not just the condition.
Respect lived experience: Defer to the language people use for themselves.
Challenge bias: Would I describe someone without a disability this way?
Highlight agency: People are not passive subjects. They are active participants in their lives.

Good language doesn’t erase difficulty. It honors the resilience, the complexity, and the full humanity of people living with these realities every day.

Final Thought

Words aren’t just what we say.

They’re how we see.

And when we see clearly, when we speak with care, we build a world where every person’s story is honored, not overshadowed.